“The present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind.” - Kiran Desai
My life has changed completely in the past one month. I now carry the heavy weight of “Mrs” before my name and this weight is slowly shifting into my life as well. I have changed completely. I look different. I live in a different house and city. I have a good life here. I am married to a loving and caring husband and I have super awesome in laws. I am surrounded with love but that doesn’t stop me from missing my family. Every night I see their faces in my dream.
Every coin has two sides. Similarly, marriage has two sides for women in India. I am not showing you the brighter side of our marriage today. Few days back my husband came to me while I was cooking lunch for us in the kitchen. I got to know from him that he has booked tickets for our North India trip on Nov and we are going via Kolkata. We will be staying in Kolkata for one and the half day. our flight will land in kolkata at 10pm . And then day after tomorrow we would resume our journey for north India. I was so happy to hear about this "kolkata"piece of information as my parents’ also lives in Kolkata.
My happiness was turned into shock and disbelief after seeing my husband's reaction when I inform him that I will be staying with my parents in that 1 day. My husband told me that “I need to take permission for that”. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. His words broke my heart. I need to take permission to live at my own parents’ house for 1 day?
I am just not wife and daughter in law. I am a daughter too. what i am today is because of them. I lived with them since i was born. They were always beside me whenever i needed them. They spent many sleepless nights when i had fever. They spent all their money to fulfill my wishes and now I need permission to stay with them for 1 day? This doesn’t made any sense to me. When will this change? When will India change its attitude towards its women? When will we start enjoying rights to equality? will a job provide me an opportunity to enjoy equal rights or rules will remain unchanged for women in India ?